My Story :D

I wanted to tell a mate what i had done in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. in the funniest way possible, so what i did was write into a story... this is copied strait from MSN so it hasn't been polished up yet :p

Slicingwingmans tale of the vampire stalker.

part one...
i went to the bar to get a job... barman gives me a job to go kill a stalker named VAMPIRE (dun dun dun).. i accept. so i start heading to my destination... (i admit i got a bit sidetracked and killed another 30-50 guys before i got there)

part two....
i finally get to the correct part of the map... this guy is torturing a bandit for information about his bestest friend... (AWE) the bandit gives in and the stalker lets him live....

Part three...
the stalker beckons to me... i go over and talk to him... he asks me to help him ambush the bandits that have taken his bestest friend (AWE).. so i say yes i will help him.. he heads off telling me to follow...

part four...
i follow this stalker trying to save his bestest friend (AWE)... we walk past a bunch of dogs... i decide to have a bit of target practice.. i win.... we finally get to the place he wants to hold the ambush scene...

Part five...
the stalker that's trying to save his bestest friend (AWE) says to me... "hide on the other side of the road and wait for me to fire the first shot"... im like "ok"... i hide behind a bus stop... i crouch there waiting... i think to myself... "should i just use a grenade and kill them all in one easy moment...

Part six...
the stalker trying to save his bestest friend (AWE) says to me... "here they come, remember to wait for me to fire first"... so i wait... then his bestest friend (AWE) walks past and two bandits following him... i take aim at a bandits head preparing to fire... the stalker finally fires his weapon... and kills the guy i was aiming at!!!!!... so i quickly take aim at the remaining bandit and drop him like a a baby that has just pooped its nappie..... the stalker that has saved his bestest friend (AWE) says to me "come here i have some payment for you"... i walk over... he hands me 2500ru and a scope... he says this is all i have to offer thank you for your help...

Part six...
after successfully helping the stalker trying to save his bestest friend (AWE) i walk off folowing the bearings to the vampire stalker... i come across a abandoned farm..... i walk in the front gate and a stalker beckons to me... (i hate it when people beckon me its getting old...) so i go over...

he says to me... i found this gun yesterday any person in his right mind would buy it for 800ru... having almost 100,000ru i decide its worth a risk... i give him the money and he says... "wait here I'll go get it"...

Part seven...
the gun man walks away.... i wait... he calls me on my radio and says... "hay stalker have you ever heard of robin hood?... Well i have just taken from the rich and now this money is going to feed me"... now im getting really angry... then he has the nerve to say... "never step foot here again or you will never wake up again"...

Part eight...
with that being said i get very angry and shout... "YOU JERK!!! i hate you and your not so merry men!!! now prepare to DIE!!!" i pull out my machine sniper, aim right at his head, and fire... he Buckles over dead and lands in his camp fire... all his not so merry men see this, they instantly stand up and pull out their girly smg's... i take aim again and shoot yet another in the head, he then lands in the already thriving fire... then all his mates are getting very worried... im now so angry that i decide to spray and pray... all the not so merry men fall down never to get up again...

Part nine...
my PDA beeps... i check it, it says that i have killed the vampire stalker... i walk over to the bodies... sure enough the second body in the fire is the vampire stalker... satisfied with my job i walk away to head back to the bar for a hard earned drink..... on my way to the exit of the valley i see the bandit that was freed and let to live by the stalker trying to save his bestest friend (AWE)... i walk over and he starts moaning.... he is some distance from where i last saw him... i look at him.. he pleas... i look closer at him... and without warning!!! i shoot him in the head with my pistol...

then i walk home and live happily ever after... or do i O.o